see, here's the thing.

if i wanted a boyfriend, i could have one right now. if all i wanted was someone to kiss and hold hands with and  “love” and fall into gray areas with, then i could flirt with a boy at random and have that. i could settle.

but i want more. i’m called to more.

i’m picky and i’ve had my heart broken. i want more than just being someone’s girlfriend. i’m not saying any of that is bad; it comes with the whole deal. but i also want to be his best friend, the one he’s most comfortable with. i want the boy who puts God in top priority, whose faith is real, who is my accountability partner. i want a boy who sends butterflies erupting in my stomach and makes me genuinely happy, whose smile makes me melt.


so i’m holding out.

some of my best friends have amazing boyfriends, and i’m so, so happy for them. they are best friends, God-given, and deep. it’s their time.

and for now, this is where i stand. content and being single, because i can be me, 100%. i can focus on God and not worry about impressing anyone. are there a few that i can see myself with? absolutely. but i’m still waiting until God gives both of us the “ok”.

all in all, it’s a blessing, but valentine’s day is still annoying.